According to statistical reports, men contribute to a larger number of perpetrators of crimes such as rapes, murders, and assaults. It is important to note, that not all men are involved in criminal activity, women are also responsible for horrible acts of violence. Nevertheless, consistently men commit more crimes. This difference in crime rates might be due to a biological factor, such as high testosterone, which leads to a loss of self-control. Therefore, men express their aggression physically, meanwhile, women tend to spread rumors to ruin someone’s social image. The US National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reported that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence. Testosterone is not the sole reason for making men more inclined towards violence. The key drivers of such behavior are stereotyped gender roles, rigid definitions of masculinity and femininity. The root of gender expression is societal expectations. Young kids know what they are ‘supposed to’ wear, play with and gravitate towards in terms of color and clothes. To break free from such stereotypes about what girls and boys should be, gender-neutral parenting is being adopted by more and more people. This method addresses the root cause of violence and promotes respectful relationships.
There are mostly two emotions that men are allowed to feel, it is frustration and anger. Ronald F. Levant in this research concluded that the male gender role imposes boys to restrict their emotions from a young age, making them focus on being ‘tough’ and making achievements a top priority. This system of values teaches the young generation to avoid being feminine. For a boy, receiving a comment that he is playing football like a girl, ‘will ruin him’. This is what we preach to kids, thus we put a foundation from early childhood to objectify sex. The statement that ‘men need to be tough’ is associated with men’s violence against women. To avoid enclosing boys in a ‘man box’, which is dangerous for mental health, gender-neutral parenting allows kids to explore and encourages them to play with all types of toys and pick their own clothes, exposing them to a world with no artificial gender limitations. It is noticeable from the BBC documentary ‘No More Boys and Girls: Can Our Kids Go Gender Free?’, in which 7-year-old girls, who called themselves pretty, were not as self-confident as boys. Parents now put constant effort to tell their daughters that they are more than just pretty, they are smart and brave and can choose any profession in the future: from becoming an astronaut to having a profession in engineering. They surround their baby child with non-conventional toys, such as dinosaurs and cars, while not pushing for so-called girls’ toys.
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The advantages of gender-neutral parenting are numerous. According to a research study published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, children have a great chance of becoming more successful in adulthood due to freedom of choice and expression. They widen their insights and become more creative. But most importantly, since kinds are raised with gender neutrality are more familiar with the opposite gender’s interests, they become more likely to contribute to gender equality in society.
Even though gender-neutral parenting is evolving, it is heavily criticized by psychologists. Dr. Stella Mavroveli states: “We have to accept that there are physical and psychological differences between men and women, and while as parents we need to allow our children to flourish and develop in an environment that is not too prescriptive, we do tend to gravitate towards the extremes, as of late. I wonder whether we will end up with children who are even more confused and fixed in their opinions and choices”. People indeed feel safe when there are predefined conventions and social norms to follow. It is not possible to raise a kid fully avoiding gender stereotypes since other people will often intervene. This can lead to confusion among children about who they are and prevent their personalities to shine through.
In conclusion, I believe that violent behavior has its roots coming from childhood. Direct physical aggression is more widespread among men. It comes from the notion that real men cannot express their full range of emotions as it will be considered weak and ‘girly’. This can traumatize boys’ egos, and growing up can lead to mental issues. Gender-neutral parenting breaks away from the strict gender rules and gives children the freedom to explore and express themselves, no matter what color of clothes they prefer to wear or which new toy they ask parents to give as a gift. However, this style of parenting can lead to another extreme, and parents should, first of all, remember that their kids are humans and help them to develop their identity. In my opinion, ideally, parents should treat boys and girls in the same way, allowing them to express emotions instead of suppressing them and encouraging opposite-gender friendships. This approach can help to avoid any perceptional biases in what boys and girls should be and raise a tolerant and respectful generation.
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