Everyone has that one close person who he shares all his life experiences. In my case, this has been my elder brother. He has been so dear to me ever since we were a small kid. I remember when we were studying in the lower high school, my elder brother could constantly come to check on me during class breaks just to make sure that I was fine. We so much resembled each other near to being mistaken to be twins. Being two grades before me, I hardly struggled to carry out home or school assignments as he always offered a helping hand. My brother was very exceptional in the way he presented himself at home and school. He strived to overcome the challenges and tasks before him by figuring out strategies to effectively address them.
We collaborated on many things to create time to play soccer which was our favorite game. We were often selected in one team, playing close to each other, as our combination of moves was unmatched by any other combination of our age. Often it was my brother who would train me the game skills before our parents realized our passion for the game and hired us a competent couch. Throughout our junior grades, we won many grades in different tournaments together. My brother happened to be the school team captain, without a doubt, he was overly adorable. The young man was well-equipped with good communication skills that enabled him to keep the team united by resolving differences whenever they arose. My brother was well articulated with everyone in the team and being an ENFJ personality type, he kept the team focused.
We had a plan that we would create an active team after graduation from senior high school. Through the help of our parents and support from other interested neighbors, we raised funds enough to establish the team and obtain membership from our previous team players. The team grew so strong and supported both locally and in interstate games. The goal we had in the formulation of the team objective was to nurture soccer talents. From the football academy, various team members could be signed by various national clubs and international teams. He was to be the chief consultant of the team while I served as the secretary.
Though we had a lot of differences as the group grew in size as others were adopted by other teams a major conflict aroused when he was to join a college team in which he had joined for undergraduate education. This was the distance from the home town and he rarely made a physical appearance in our usual meetings. As a team consultant, he was playing a significant role in the academy which he either needed to hand over or be actively engaged in the club affairs. Over a short period, the team activities deteriorated and I had to call upon my brother to take up his responsibilities in the team or to hand over the duties. According to him, the objectives of the academy had been met and the team was meant to be dissolved. I insisted that the team activities were necessary as we were in a position to recruit more members and as others got adopted into other teams. I persuaded him to hand over his responsibilities to allow the team to proceed much more smoothly which he became hesitant about. From his perspective, the team would not run without him being in charge and it was better for the team to be dissolved other than to hand over a claim I highly objected to. I decided to convey a group meeting to persuade him to hand over and become an ex-official member of the organizing board. He agreed to hand over his prominent position as the chief consultant officer of the team the position I was assigned and we accommodated him as an ex-official member.
The reactivity was intense in handling this issue. At first, the discussion was characterized by massive escalation and emotional intensity. There was aggressive verbal communication when the team activities were slowing down with my brother taking little concern about the issue (McCornack 185). The reactivity was characterized by accusations of mistrust between us. I considered my brother’s suggestion as self-centered and having no direction for the team. I considered him to have lost the focus and commitment of the group by proposing a shutdown. My response to his view caused us to feel betrayed by the other party as the team members and other stakeholders looked upon us for clear directions on the approach the team should take. I felt on my part that we were being unfair to other stakeholders by being indecisive. Due to this, we had two weeks in which we didn’t have verbal communication until my brother returned home and we agreed on holding an urgent meeting.
In this case, I went for a collaborative approach to conflict resolution (McCornack 213). I went for this approach because it is usually constructive in managing conflicts. From the relationship that I have enjoyed with my brother since childhood, this was by no means to break it up. I also felt that he had a significant role to play in the team other than just dismissing him for lack of full support. Since my brother is not very stubborn, he readily welcomed the idea though it cost him some compromise. Being my elder, I assured him that I would certainly play the roles he was doing as the chief consultant officer with competence. The collaboration approach was informed by the trust that we have developed over time and the commitment that we had since childhood. Following the suggestions developed by Wilmort and Hocker (2010), we began the collaboration approach by stating the actual problem and separating it from my brother's perspective (Wilmort & Hocker 203). This was an important aspect as it enabled us to lay down our perspectives and analyze the issues at hand. It also enabled us to prevent personal attacks and to actively engage in obtaining a solution. We were able to address the issues raised without anger and in collaboration with all the team members.
As a team, we also focused on the interests of the team in general and the long-term objectives that we had formed. We reflected on the initial objectives that we had in developing this idea and the milestones we had attained in the journey. We expressed our desires regarding the prospects of the team based on the objectives and the attained milestones of the team activities. In this case, the language adopted was in the defense of the team’s future rather than the individual objectives. We together explored the alternatives that would best address the situation that the team was facing in light of the sustainability of the team objectives (Bercovitch 102). We reviewed the alternatives and selected those that most appealed to team objectives which were having my brother as an ex-official member of the team and me taking over his position as the chief consultant officer. We also selected a new secretary to take over my position.
Everybody was contented with the decisions that we arrived at on that day. My brother responded positively towards the conclusion that he would hand over to me and attain an ex-official member who we can constantly approach and consult whenever anything arises. He handed over the leadership position to me and since then he has remained very instrumental in the team's progress. I was also happy with the decision as it provided me with an elaborate position of leadership and more interpersonal relationships. The team members and stakeholders were also glad for the resumption of the team activities. We all looked forward to the progress of the team.
- McCornack, Steven. Interpersonal Communication and You. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2015.
- Paperback. Wilmot, W. W., & Hocker, J. L. (2010). Interpersonal conflict (8th ed.). Boston: McGraw-Hill.