A few days ago, I had an unpleasant experience. But like all situations in life, he left me a precious lesson.
Some social networks can form groups where people meet if they have the same taste. In a group of those in favor of a film, the majority of those present mentioned the death of one of the most beloved characters. I started reading the comments on this debate and I discovered that of a girl about 13 years old who wrote that she was very sad (the text reflected her feelings) because of several events in this movie. In my years, I understand that during puberty we tend to suffer for things that do not make sense, and this event was exactly that. It seemed fair to me to give a 'mature' opinion on the situation and offer some comfort. But in the middle of such a drama, I took mine not to 'play the game' and feel sorry for his pain. The response was aggressive, but I was not surprised. It's not that I do not understand that someone can suffer for things like that; from my point of view, it makes no sense to feel pain for something like a movie I've never been sorry for myself or anyone, so if anyone one suffers, my answer is to open their eyes so they can see reality, find comfort and move on. This attitude is not something I owe to my maturity. I must admit that it was some difficult events in my childhood and adolescence that motivated this attitude. I learned to give each event of life its importance and its place.
Emotional maturity has nothing to do with age. I know people who, although adults, are not ripe in their emotions. An emotionally mature person has learned - through life events - and has developed the ability to understand the pain of others (empathy) and theirs, to control themselves and to take responsibility for their actions.
Learning to mature emotionally is not an easy task; sometimes it is the deepest pain that leaves indelible marks in the life of the affected person. However, he always wins because the person has learned to overcome tragedies and put themselves in the shoes of others.
Habits that guide you to learn emotional maturity include:
- Become aware of your emotions and thoughts: by doing this, you are aware of your environment and can better adapt to it. This gives you more control over your emotions, you do not judge lightly and you become compassionate and able to accept your mistakes.
- Learn from your mistakes. Life is full of difficulties; the art is to learn from the mistakes made by these problems. Learning from the failures of the past helps you to be stronger and more resilient.
- Be assertive: it is the ability of the person to express their thoughts or feel something (even if they do not agree with others) without showing disrespect to anyone. The problem is that you take responsibility for what you say, but the way the recipient captures the message is beyond your control.
- Active listening: we need to be attentive to the way people communicate not only verbally, but also learn to read it without words.
- Detachment: we can avoid a lot of pain when the person learns to free himself from objects, people, beliefs, memories and thoughts.
- Do not stay stuck in the past. “The past is a source of depression and future anxiety, so it is better to live in the present”. If you love your memories of the past, you just need to suffer needlessly. Plus, it stops you from enjoying the good things in your everyday life.
- Do not complain. Complaining about what you do or what you paralyze and stagnate. It's the same as feeling self-pity and nothing is more unproductive than that. When you take responsibility for your actions, you start acting and stop complaining.
It can be difficult to put these 7 points into practice, but once the first step is taken, life begins to improve. In this regard, there are five realities that a mature person learns to accept emotionally. The first is that the world is not the way you want it to be. The sooner this is accepted, the less suffering there will be. A person who understands that there are things he cannot control, that he cannot make others feel and think the way they do. He is a man who does not suffer needlessly. The second is the realization that happiness is a personal responsibility. Every decision that you take has consequences. That's why it's absurd to blame others for the bad things that happen to you. When you take responsibility for your actions and decisions, you tend to control yourself and you learn that happiness is your responsibility. Knowing the power to change when needed is the third. An adult person knows emotionally that to be happy, you have to change if necessary. Change helps you grow and learn new things, helps you get out of toxic situations and people, which means you have to reach your well-being. Self-control is the fourth. It can be difficult to control your emotions. But when this is done, it gives you that sense of accomplishment because you are your own owner; because you do not allow others to influence you or hurt you. And the last one is the realization that being happy does not force you to fall in love. This is a common belief, but to be happy, it is not necessary to live in a constant state of falling in love. It's not that you avoid falling in love, but whether you know that you have someone in your life or not, you can be happy. When the person matures emotionally in a couple, he does not depend on the other to be happy. Love is about helping grow and know the world, but being a married couple is not the only source of happiness.
In conclusion, like everything that makes you stronger in life. Emotional maturity is something that is learned through a process of difficult growth. We become all, but it does not depend on age, but on everyone's willingness to be happy without leaving it in the hands of others.