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[Opening]Don't let your child lose on the starting line, although it sounds like prophetic advertising, it is regarded as the supreme truth by most Chinese parents, and it aggravated the parents' anxiety. [Background] The underlying reason is that these academic elites have adapted to a structured environment (school), but the real society is highly unstructured. Excellent performance in one environment, but not necessarily in another environment, or even the opposite. School is a structured environment with selective bias because it likes students who respond more quickly to specific tasks in this environment; schools like to engage in academic competition but sacrifice students' abilities outside the campus. For example, the ability to discover opportunities, create opportunities, and take advantage of opportunities. However, students that are not doing well in academics learned the ability to discover opportunities and use opportunities at an early age. [Thesis statement] In general, most people consider whether students are good or bad through competition or rank level (grade) in education.
[Main idea] In fact, parents and teachers have been designing competitive tools intentionally and unintentionally to give their children a driving force, or through the 'honorary reward' to give the child self-confidence, and hope child could do better in the future. [Support] Some people may say that this is encouraging and not competitive at all. But when people give their child the honor of 'smart, best, talent, genius', they also give the child pressure that he can not lose this honor. If someone else performs better than him, he will compete, protect or recapture the honor that once belongs to him. Also for a rewarded student, rewards would make students happy, but this happiness lasts for a short time, and for a longer period of time, the student is nervous and anxious because he must face many other students' competition and try hard to defend his honor. [Conclusion] The students who have adapted to a deterministic task (such as subject learning, exams, etc.) will be labeled as “good students”.
[Main idea] Losing in the competition can often lead to emotionalization.[Support] In order to get rid of and compensate for this emotion, some students will mock, ridicule, sarcasm, and bully others. Also, In order to compensate for the inferiority and loss in the competition, some will look for external achievements. By replacing the honor with violence, smoking, drinking, and rebuilding confidence with the vanity brought by showing off. The inner core of the competitive loser is extremely empty, and it is urgent to require the approval of others to fill the huge void. When reaching a tipping point that the pain caused by competition is far greater than the happiness it brings. Many distorted thoughts and behaviors are actually for the purpose to get rid of the pain caused by competition, and many students are struggling with it for a long time. [Conclusion] Excessive failures can greatly hurt students' self-esteem, especially when their minds are still immature, they are labeled as bad students, and they will consider themselves also as bad students even after they graduate.
[Main idea] However, some “bad students” learn to deal with uncertainty, such as criticism from teachers and parents, and changes in the environment. [Support] In this process, they learn to be motivated and their mental capacity is exercised. They are more exposed to society and look for opportunities in uncertainty, such as discovering opportunities and taking advantage of opportunities. They have to make more attempts, which is a must for survival. Therefore, they have more opportunities to discover their own strengths and keep getting refined and profitable in the process of applying their strengths. [Conclusion] These so-called bad students will also encounter many failures, but the failure is affordable, they can stand up and learn something from it. In such frequent attempts, sometimes they encounter big opportunities and make correct judgments, and grasp them to succeed.
[Main idea] In a changing society, including extreme situations such as war, social unrest, technological revolution, and commercial warfare, elite students who are highly accustomed to certain tasks are vulnerable. [Support] Those who have trained the ability to deal with uncertainty, it is difficult to say that they are strong, they have mastered the rules of survival. Good students and bad students are not antagonistic. The so-called good and bad are superficial. [Conclusion] The quality of academic performance is not necessarily related to career achievements.
[Main idea] From the perspective of evolution, competition existed hundreds of millions of years ago, much earlier than human birth, so when people bring their children into this world, it has already involved them in various competitions. [Support] Competition will inevitably lead to a sense of crisis and anxiety, but ignoring competition does not avoid competition, just as ignoring death can not avoid death. People should not pay too much attention to the performance of the moment but pay more attention to whether students can get more fun and curiosity from learning and exploration. Also, people should care more about whether children can get happiness from self-control and whether they can grow from themselves. [Conclusion] We could also let children participate in the competition, but the purpose is not to prove that he is stronger than others but to test how much we have grown up, and where the weak places that we had.
[Conclusion and social significance] Both educators and students should realize that life does not win or lose, and life is exploration. On this basis, we will accept competitive psychology, clearly, understand the possible side effects of competition, and try to use competition as a means of growth rather than a source of the driving force.
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