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The talk. This is one of the most uncomfortable interactions between parents and children. Navigating this sensitive topic is a challenge. Most parents worry about the timing, setting, and whether the child is ready or not. Sometimes, parents are in denial; the more they delay the talk, the longer their child will remain a child and not hit puberty. However, the topic is inevitable and is best done sooner rather than later. A lot of kids are confused and feel lost during adolescence, especially due to the changes they experience in their bodies.
Talking to a child about puberty helps the child prepare for it and also feel supported. Children begin to withdraw and keep to themselves at puberty unless they have a good support system. Adolescence is the stage where children begin to experience sexual and romantic urges, as well as focus on social status.
Kids on the autism spectrum and all special needs kids require special attention when it comes to handling puberty. Puberty is a very confusing time for special needs children and parents need to prepare them for these changes adequately. Usually, the concern for parents is that their child will not understand what is happening; however, it doesn’t have to be the case. When parents prepare and plan for the changes to come, children don’t have to feel so lost.
Speaking to special needs kids about puberty could be overwhelming. However, caregivers should start the conversation early, break it down, and slowly help their child understand what’s happening to their bodies. Despite the challenges they face, special needs children are perceptive, and they often have questions about what’s happening around them. The way a parent approaches the talk determines how a child will react to the conversation.
Parents usually avoid conversations about a child’s disability for fear that this might negatively affect their child. However, this approach only serves to confuse the child as they are left with unanswered questions that they don’t know how to address. A special needs child won’t feel bad or think that they’re doomed to fail when the conversation comes up. This, of course, depends on how the parent approaches the subject. Telling and discussing a child’s disability with them helps them understand, even if it’s just a little. An autistic child, for instance, will not understand why they struggle to initiate and foster social relationships with their peers unless their guardian helps them understand. Failure to speak to this child could result in a child thinking that they’re unlikable. Special needs children feel ashamed and embarrassed when they don’t understand themselves because they think that they don’t fit in and no one understands them.
When talking to kids with special needs about puberty, timing is vital. Parents don’t want to bring up this talk when a child is too young to understand, but they also don’t want to wait too long that the child already made assumptions about what’s going on with their bodies. For special needs kids, starting earlier is however advisable. Psychologists recommend to ease the child into the discussion and slowly tackle each subject individually. First, begin with an easy topic, like telling them what happens when people reach adolescence, and allow the child to ask questions on what they don’t understand. It is also essential to use relatable examples to explain complex concepts to the child. Another way to begin the talk is to ask the child what they know about the subject, check whether what they know is factual, and then work from there.
Secondly, psychologists state that it is essential to let the child know that puberty is natural and they shouldn’t be embarrassed by the changes. Honesty is crucial, therefore, if parents don’t have the answers to a question, psychologists advise not to make them up, be upfront and say that they don’t know.
Schools today offer a lot of educational materials for children; however, a special needs child will only gain half of the benefits from these lessons since they don’t move at the same pace as other kids. Parents should remember that having the conversation when the child is already going through puberty could confuse the child more.
Some of the things to cover during the discussion include sexuality, menstruation, cramps, PMS, moods, skin condition, voice, height, and other physical changes that the child is expected to go through. Going over the five stages of puberty also helps children understand themselves better through every stage.
In summary, puberty usually takes about ten years and is both formative and challenging for all children. Talking about this period is very important for children, especially for children with special needs. This topic often scares parents and they very often put it off, while some parents refuse to talk about it with their children at all, that sometimes with harmful consequences. However, this topic is extremely important. Parents should not only give their children the necessary information about puberty, but also ‘reassure’ them that the changes are healthy and that they should not worry or be ashamed. If parents feel they cannot do this well, they should get a counselor to help them.
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