Forgiveness is the deliberate act of releasing feelings of vengeance or resentment towards someone for their wrong doings. Forgiveness brings the induvidual immense peace of mind and frees them from unnecessary anger. People make mindless mistakes everyday and what would happen if you were never forgiven for those? I think everybody deserves the chance to apologise and make positive changes in life and prove themselves to be a better person and this is why.
Mistakes are a good, unavoidable thing. The human race learns mostly by trial and error. Usually when things we have done go wrong, we regret them. Mistakes help us take in the truth quickly and sometimes brutally. Maybe if you are just driving that few extra miles faster to get to work on time? The concequences of those actions you won’t soon forget. Realising what you have done wrong, how likley are you to do the same again knowing the possible outcome? Mistakes are important because they take us from a mindset of improvement to a mindset of expansion. Meaning that even though most people desire a succsessful life, mistakes we make humble us and make us look towards a more expanded open lifestyle rather than perfection even if this defeats us at the time of the mistake, in the end it emphasises the idea of a more free lifestyle we actually want. In addition to this, mistakes are part of the ‘game of life’ which could mean more stupidity, setbacks and slip-ups involved. Which tests our engagement on the world around us rather than a typical routine. We all make mistakes, whether you wrote the date down wrong this morning or you forgot to put those papers on your bosses desk that she needed for yesterday and no later. Accidents are the learning curve we all deserve to experience.
Empathy is to understand and relate to how someone else’s emotions and how they are feeling. It is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. When an individual needs empathy from us it is extremely crucial to expand your way of thinking to help them and this brings a colossal amount of satisfaction. Trying to understand the intentions of why another has made the decisions they have is hard but not impossible. To start off, how do you think someone else would see you? What is the first thing they’d notice or think about? Looking at things from someone else’s perspective helps you move on in the situation and also in life. There are approximately 7.442 billion people in the world. Seeing things from only your perspective you’re ultimately missing out on the remarkable opinions and extraordinary stories of 7 billion others. Empathy is a major key to forgiveness, this is because “Before you can even offer forgiveness, there needs to be some kind of mutual understanding of the conflict’ said Gabrielle S. Adams, Assistant Professor, London Business School.
‘The willingness to change allows us to see new things that often go ignored. We begin to accept ideas that help us to grow in ways that most others would pass by, simply because these ideas aren’t conventionally accepted.’ – Anthony from AuthenticGrowth.com. Your attitiute makes a stupendous impact on the changes you let into your life. Opportunity is all around us and if you are able to understand what negative tendencies you have and are willing to change them you can reach your goals much more effectively. For instance, a devastating but inspiring story about a man named Mukhtar Gusengajiev, he served three long years in prison as a young teenage boy for fighting. During his imprisonment he studied mediation and flexibility to free him of the regrets of his life before that he felt guilty about. When he was released from jail he felt empowered and performed in a circus before taking up an acting role in a movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme. The movie was not released but Mukhtar landed in Vegas where he became world-famous for being extremely flexible. He now performs around the world and gives mightily motivational speeches about reaching your goals. This proves that he started off as a lousy teenager then lost his negative tendencies by instead of fighting, started making a differece by inpriring young children to do well in life and became a greater more succeful person due to meditiation and mindfulness. Gusengajiev earned his forgiveness by showing he had changed and made an efficacious impact on his own life and began to influence others to do the same and to learn from his mistakes also proving the concequences of inflicting unholesome behaviour can be utterly life changing.
Holding a grudge is a problem. What’s the point in holding a grudge? It doesn’t make you feel any less angry and it definitely does not make us any happier. Carrying around the weight of anger and hatred toward someone leaves us feeling tired and worn out by the constant reminder of their presence which is not a healthy mindset. Letting go of a grudge means to stop paying so much attention to the person’s wrong doing and instead pay attention to how that person has reacted to what they have done and move past it. For every negative there is a positive, resentment towards another can be prevented by seeing the silver lining, which might be that you have learned a beneficial lesson or a bigger understanding of the situation or that person. Making room for happiness means to let go of the cynical, negative thoughts and feelings. The average human lives shockingly only until they are 79. Life is far too short to hold a grudge.
Forgiveness actually has many health benefits. One being fewer depression symptoms. It’s estimated that a whopping 15 percent of the adult population will experience depression at some point in their lifetime. However forgiveness provides us with healing resulting in the feeling of compassion and purpose, substituting the feeling of depression. Not forgiving increases stress, study author Loren Toussaint, an associate professor of psychology at Luther College in Iowa says “If you don’t have forgiving tendencies, you feel the raw effects of stress in an unmitigated way. You don’t have a buffer against that stress.” Researchers have firgured out that people who are more forgiving can cope with stress better and may not have irrational reactions to things that could cause stress. Having forgivness in your heart brings peace of mind, a prime example being Margaret and Barry Mizen, Jimmy Mizen’s parents. Jimmy was killed the day after his 16th birthday by 19 year old Jake Fahri in 2008. Margaret said: “I feel it was absolutely right in my heart to forgive him because by forgiving him I’m able to do all the things I want to do, it allows me to look out the window and see the sun shining and the flowers blossoming. If I didn’t it would fill me with so much hate that I wouldn’t be able to do these things.’ Forgivness releives the mind on negative toxins and helps you continue on life happily.
In retrospect, I believe that everyone deserves forgiveness because everyone makes mistakes and life is much too short to blame people for these wrong doings forever. Being forgiving also improves your mental and physical health and unquestionably opens your mind to a different perspective, that possibly being the view point of another. I urge you, next time someone makes a bad desicion or reflecting on a previous event, to try and understand how they are trying to fix the problem and although it may be difficult, forgive them. Even if it takes days, months or years. Give yourself and others the peace of mind you absolutely deserve.