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I was born on Feb 22, 2003. I came into the world at Kaweah Delta Hospital. Before I was even born, my biological mother knew she could not take care of me. She decided to give me up for adoption. She already had to support one child and couldn't help me. My welfare was more important than her selfish ambitions to maintain the appearance of a good mother. In order not to become attached, she had predetermined to not bond with me physically or emotionally. With this, she decided it was best that I bond with someone who could mother and take care of me.
This moment was the most significant event of my whole adoption story! I was now officially part of a kind, loving family who wanted to take care of me! There was no more worrying about my welfare or if my biological mom would change her mind and ask to take me back. I was part of a stable family. Because she decided to make the right decision, she affected many people. She provided me with a home and care, and she provided two people with a child that they thought they could never have.
From my perspective, I am currently very happy. This was made possible by my biological mom's first thoughtful decision to keep me alive. That decision is forever ingrained in my mind and heart. She chose life, and because of that, I can pursue a career, follow my dreams, and start my own family. Her second decision provided another family with the opportunity to experience the joy of having and rearing a child in a better environment. I now have the exact opposite. I acquired many loving friends, an excellent education, with support for all of my endeavors. I was raised with love by two people who care for me and always support me.
Right around this time is when my parents got divorced, and I was in about the 4th to 6th grade. So at this time, I could not fully comprehend their divorce, so I did not feel sad. I didn't have any emotion towards the situation. As I was promoted to middle school, I made a lot of new friends. I realized just about 95% of all the kids there also had divorced parents, and very few kids had their parents still together in a happy marriage, which made me feel a sense of normalization in a way.
Do I get asked a lot about how is being adopted different? Well, I don't know who my birth parents are. I wonder about that. Not because it makes me sad, but because I am curious about who they are or what they're like, so I wonder. Well, maybe it makes me a little bitter. It's kind of like a missing piece of me. My mom told me I have a brother three years older than me, and that's about all I know. How much does all that matter? I'm not too sure.
During middle school, I came to comprehend their divorce more and more and began wondering about who my birth parents are. I remember I had heard I had a biological brother four years older than me whom I knew nothing about. I grew more curious about what they looked like or if they even knew about me or not. As I transitioned into high school, I kept wondering what my biological parents really looked like or even just their names. However, I had nothing of reference to try and find anything about them.
Being adopted is different. It can be confusing trying to figure out 'why me'. On the other hand, 'lucky me'. I am different. Best of all, I am loved for who I am. Having a family that cares about you is incredible. I have some friends that don't have the kind of love and acceptance I have. Adoption is about me and my family and how lucky we all are to have each other. So, to kids waiting to be matched, I say get the best possible match and then work at it. Nothing is perfect. But having a forever family is the best.
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