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I feel being a man in 2019 is as complicated as ever. Let me start by talking about one of the things I believe are not talked about as much, mental health. Sadness, anger, happiness and fear are the four basic emotions we feel as humans. Of these four emotions, happiness is considered the most acceptable in our modern-day society. Yet anger, fear and sadness are universally felt by everyone. Men throughout history have been told not to express any sort of feelings as it can make us appear weak in front of others. As emotions such as fear and sadness are generally not as accepted, men might try to hide these from themselves and those around them. They feel that they should be able to cope on their own.
Did you know that on average 12 men a day take their own life and that 31% of men said that would be too embarrassed to go and seek help for a mental health problem. We as a society have put this idea in men that we shouldn’t speak about our mental well-being and to even feel embarrassed to seek out help.
A lot of men were taught at an early age to ‘suck it up’, that crying is unacceptable and expressing how one felt could be viewed as weak or whining. Men weren’t given a platform to share how they felt, but instead were quickly told to move past it and ‘stay strong’. This led to a lot of men only knowing how to act tough or hide their feelings in silence. Not a healthy or enjoyable away to go through life. Hiding feelings and not being able to express oneself is a recipe for future health issues, poor communication in relationships, and depression.
There is a lot of confusion these days about what it means to be a man. The blurring of gender lines has made traditional notions of masculinity obsolete. It is not just human beings with a penis that aspire to the traits of sexuality, conquest, wealth, success and authority. A century ago, a man provided, a woman nurtured. Not so much anymore. It is difficult to assign or describe attributes solely to males. Males should not be defined by their behavior any more than females. Anything you can say about the qualities of a man could be applied to a woman, and vice-versa.
Being a man is no different than being a woman, just be the best version of yourself you can be.
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