Searching for My Purpose

What is the purpose of my life? What am I interested in and what do I want from life? What are the things I truly value and not just do to please or impress others?

Purpose is a word with many different meanings and definitions. Each person understands something different under what is meant by finding one’s true purpose in life. For some finding a purpose seems to be an easy task and for others as they take longer or might struggle to answer some of these mentioned questions above, it is hard and one of the biggest challenges they will have to confront in life. However, once someone found their calling and lives in harmony with their life’s purpose, it gives inner peace, a sense of fulfillment and it also offers a shot at experiencing true happiness and joy. The opportunities are endless and by taking charge of your own destiny, one has the chance to make a real difference and to leave his or her own personal mark on this world. Finding one’s purpose helps in becoming inspirational and in creating a vision which is the fundament for change. Change can only be executed with a full-commitment, dedication and hope. Our world is in desperate need of a change as topics such as climate change, child labor, poverty and other political movements such as ‘Me-Too’ depend on transformational leaders who found their calling. These types of leaders wake up with a burning desire to make a change and they motivate their followers to unify to achieve extraordinary and remarkable results.

Often we think big and we assume that our life’s purpose must be similar to for example to Nelson Mandela or Gandhi’s purpose. Even in the book ‘Road to Character’ he offers brief biographies of a range of historical figures whose lives illustrate the desired focus on Adam II and the eulogy virtues, Brooks seeks to recover. But quite frankly that is not true. Even if your vision is somewhat smaller compared to ending the apartheid or freeing India, it is still okay as the small things in life matter just as much. If we want to make a long-lasting change in history and in society, we must support each other in finding each other true strengths and their unique vocation.

This assignment is the perfect example of supporting students to find their true purpose in life or at least it forces us to take a moment to find the courage to get out of comfort zone and to reflect upon our character traits and what roles we want to embody while living on this earth.

Just like Brooks, I am the firm believer that each person has an obligation to find his or her destiny or calling. Brooks said: “No good life is possible unless it is organized around a vocation. We will never find our calling if we look for our passion. We must look around and ask life how we can best serve our community and then leverage our intrinsic interests towards addressing the problems of the community” (Brooks, 2015, p.525). All throughout my life, I have always been asked: “What is your purpose?” or “Do you know what you want to do with your life yet?”. My answer has always been, “I am not sure yet”. I have stressed the majority of my life trying figure out what exactly my life purpose is. During my teenage years especially, I started to question myself and what I was wanting to do with my life.

I find that my family has shaped me the most and due to their patience, trust and guidance I became the person I am today. Especially, my dad had a major impact on me and my current understanding of the world. He would always keep pushing me to my extremes by constantly reminding me of the necessity of doing something important and of value. He always told me that I have all the resources needed in this world to live a meaningful life and that he would help me achieve all my dreams. My dad gave me plenty of opportunities to expand my horizon and to mature, for instance he would stimulate deep and complex conversations and he also organized an exchange program with his Rotary Club for me to go to Brazil. Just recently, he gave me the chance to visit South Africa and to be apart off a unique business program with the London School of Economics.

Over the last few years, his love became more merit based as he is constantly expecting me to be outstanding and to surprise him with another big accomplishment or award. Brooks also picked up on this shift in parents love towards being more merit based in society. My dad is a very successful CEO in Germany or even around the globe and perhaps that is one reason why he is so strict with me and my sister. He just wants the best for us and therefore he assumes that we have to be excellent in all we do in order to achieve success. However, my dad is one of my biggest supporters and I look up to him in many ways.

My dad’s brutal honesty and his strictness have taught me an important life lesson: nothing in life comes without hardship. I dream of being successful, but I know that without hard work and dedication I will not be able to achieve it. Even early on in my life, I had to learn that through hardship and strong work ethics, I can achieve the impossible. I was originally born in the Essen, Germany. However, my dad got a job for three years in the USA when I was around five years old and, therefore, we moved to State College, Pennsylvania. I loved being in the USA and my sister and I were so sad whenever our stay was over and we had to move back to Germany. When we got back, I was much older and I had to go to elementary school. All the children in my age were already in second grade. During the first few months in school, I struggled to keep up with the teacher and my fellow classmates. My English skills were excellent, but I could barely speak proper German and I could not write in cursive unlike all the other children. I remember feeling ashamed and worthless whenever we got an exam back and I saw the grades of the people next to me. After some time, my teacher said to my parents that it would be best if I would repeat this school year as I simply missed out on too much. This would have properly been the easy way out to this problem, but I was not ready to give up yet. I stayed extra hours in school and my parents hired a special tutor for me. This time was not easy for me. I was still very young and I just wanted to play outside with all the other children and have fun, but instead I had to read books and write endless pages filled with new words I learned. I was ambitious and I determined to prove everyone wrong that said that I would not make it; and I succeeded. From that moment on, I knew that hard work would pay off. Like Samuel Johnson in the book ‘Road to Character’, I wanted to take control over my life and all that I have accomplished in life was a direct result of hard work and effort.

This determination and perspective on hardship followed me through my entire life, even until college. I do not like procrastination at all. I prefer to immediately tackle down a work task or to complete an assignment. I like finishing as many things possible during a normal day, as I know then that I have been productive and have less things on my plate the following day.

My strong work ethics have been at display ever since then. I am motivated to grow and to learn as I believe that one duty of humankind is expand our current intellectual horizon and to study our direct surrounding and environment. There are endless aspects in this world untouched and just waiting for us to be discovered and to be studied.

Many characters in the book ‘Road to Character’ have a similar trajectory with moments of moral crisis, confrontation and recovery. They hit rock bottom and then they start seeing the world through a different light and perspective. After recovering from their crisis and failure, they suddenly have to ability to deeply reflect upon their own nature and find their life’s purpose. Meanwhile, in the struggle and transformation process, the character chooses the path of humility and then is finally able to cultivate character.

However, by looking back on my past I cannot identify one particular moment in time that would satisfy these criteria’s Brooks mentions in his book or would count as a major eye-opening turning point in life.

I can much better identify with the character Augustine in his book as he does not experience a major turning point as well. Instead of experiencing a dramatic U-Curve shift, his transformation for the better happens gradually and after an intense reflection upon himself. I can identify with him as I believe that because my focus on self-examination and with my strong-desire for self-improvement, I actively changed my old lifestyle and habits. I agree fully with Brooks whenever he mentioned that our society is developing into an ever-lasting celebration of ourselves. I try my best to act against this trend by being very self-critical and by engaging frequently in reflections upon myself and my surrounding.

The character Samuel Johnson wrote in one of his essays; “To strive with difficulties, and to conquer them, is the highest human felicity” (Brooks, 2015, p. 472). After identifying a weakness of mine or being told a weakness of mine, I take my time to develop certain strategies on how to conquer them best. Nobody is perfect and by constructively dealing with my weaknesses, I become more mature and become better than I used to be.

Before coming to St. Andrews University, I was an average student in High School and no one paid close attention to me or my achievements. I was very shy and because of my shyness I missed out on a lot of opportunities in life. However, before coming to the USA, I reflected upon my behavior and my character traits. I started to wonder what I could do if I would be more of an extrovert. I was curious to find out and I wanted to reach my full-potential and that is why my transforming moment in life is not marked through a traditional U-Curve, but much rather through a process of self-examination and realization. Coming to a new school and a new place where no one knew me, gave me the opportunity to start over and to figure out what I wanted to be known as or to be remembered by.

Do not get me wrong. Perhaps I am just waiting for my transforming moment which will turn my life upside down and will guide me to my life’s purpose. For instance, Frances Perkins found her true calling through an external event, the fire in her office building. Who knows if something similar will happen to me? All I know is that I am trusting life’s journey even if I do not fully understand it yet. One day will come and I will have found my role within this world.

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Another concept I praise upon is fairness which directly correlates to having strong work ethics. I despise when things are unfair no matter if in school, at the swimming pool or in society. I think it is fair if people fail an exam if they did not properly prepare as they could have actively prevented this outcome. I think it is unfair if people do cheat or lie to advance in life. My character strives for harmony, order and stability. If one of these three dimensions is missing, I feel out of balance and vulnerable.

Traveling all around the world and getting to know as many as possible different cultures and their unique traditions is my ultimate goal in life. Ever since I was small, I would travel all around Europe with my parents and later on all across the globe. Globalization made it possible for us to fly to different continents within a day. Whenever I travel, I am the happiest and best version of myself. No matter what else I do, only when I travel, I feel complete and feelings of joy and pure gratitude of being alive overcome me. I am curious and open-minded when placed in new settings and I enjoy learning new things about humanity and history.

Because I went overseas for my college degree, I was introduced to my second mentor, Kurt Wohlrab. If I would not have come to St. Andrews, our paths would not have crossed. Kurt was my swim assistant coach my sophomore and junior year and over time we formed a truly meaning relationship. Being on a swim team since I was twelve years old and furthermore being the team captain of my college swim team has taught me many important life lessons.

Kurt has been another influential leader in my life and I have learned so much from him in his little time at St. Andrews. He has always been there for me when I needed him and I could always count on him for help or advise. Kurt is a very understanding person which means that no matter what question or problem I had, he would always try to fully understand my situation first, before commenting on it. As he is a bit older than me, he has more life experience and therefore he was able to see the bigger picture of life which I sometimes tend to oversee. Kurt has taught me that there is not only one solution to a problem or one correct answer to a question. The world is not divided into black and white. One just has to be creative enough and willing to test out new things in order to advance. Kurt was one of the major forces that drove our team forward. He was able to motivate and inspire us when no one else could.

David Brooks also introduced me to the character named George Catlett Marshall. I could easily relate to him as some of his character traits he excelled at were neatness, organization, precision and self-control. Just like me, he also had a strong desire to be as close to flawless in all things possible. I strive to be the best in all I do and sometimes it is hard for me to accept that winning and failure go hand in hand. In addition to that, I have the slight tendency to overthink and to over sweat the small things. Failure is something that is painfully familiar to all swimmers. Throughout my ten years of competitive swimming, I had quite a high amount of setbacks. However, I am not mad at myself anymore for not preforming as anticipated, but I see these moments of frustration and failure as learning opportunities and opportunities of growth. Over the years, I have learned how to effectively deal with my doubts, frustration and my insecurities.

Another aspect my sport has taught me, is the idea of self-discipline, self-control and willpower. Waking up as early as 5 o’clock in the morning for practices, pushing myself to my limits at each practice and making sacrifices for my sport, I know how to set and plan goals with the certainty of knowing that I will follow through. It has given me the chance to develop a strong inner compass which assists me in my every day decision making process.

The most important concept I follow in life is to treat other with respect and my golden rule is: ‘Treat others like you want to be treated’. The movie ‘Cinderella’ had a major impact on me and my development of my character. During the movie Ella’s mother says: “I have to tell you a secret that will see you through all the traits that life can offer. Have courage and be kind. When there is kindness, there is goodness. When there is goodness, there is magic. See the world not as it is, but as it could be” (Cinderella, 2015).

It is of utmost importance to remember that every single action we take affects the life of someone around us. Most of the time we are not even completely aware of it. The ways in which we can show kindness and appreciation are endless and I try to constantly challenge myself and my close friends to preform one act of kindness each day. Just like Ella’s mom said kindness and feeling empathy for others can help build a better tomorrow and reveal something magical. We do not meet people by accident as there is a reason for why we cross paths and therefore we should treat people with significance and respect. I appreciate those who have supported me, forgive those who have hurt me and I try to help those who are in need.

This directly bring me to the question evolving around my existence and what I want to accomplish in life. I know the general things I want to achieve referring to my Adam I, but it is still hard for me to find my true place within the larger community. For instance, I value my family and I see my family as a blessing, if not the biggest one of them all. Whenever I grow up, I want to have a family on my own; a loving and caring husband and at least two children. I want to follow the path of motherhood, because I have so much love to give and I want to experience first-hand God’s miracle of creating life.

I want to work and at the same time raise my children. I am not a traditional thinker in the sense that I do not believe that the man in the family has to be the sole breadwinner. I went to college and got an education for a reason and I want to put use to my learned knowledge and skills.

These are all goals which are directed towards the Adam I and resume virtues. But there is more to us and I want to take the time to devote myself to unfolding my inner Adam II who desperately seeks to obey a calling to serve the world.

Brook points out in his book that: “This competitive pressure meant that we all have to spend more time, energy, and attention on the external Adam I climb toward success and we have less time, energy, and attention to devote to the internal world of Adam II” (Brooks, 2015, p. 496). Society lets us forget what is important and we strive toward materialistic pleasures in hope that they will bring us long-lasting happiness. This trend in our modern society clouds our vision and it stirs us in the wrong direction.

I know what I want to achieve, but I struggle to identify and to define my life’s purpose. Questions about my purpose and my future still terrify me, but I am actively deciding to not drain myself in those fears and to not let them define me or stop me from revealing my true potential to this world. I wish to give it all my attention and to make a full soul commitment to the task or any challenges I decide to accept.

This essay however has helped me reflect upon my destiny and purpose and come to the conclusion that I want to form meaningful relationship with all the people I get in contact with.

It has helped me advance on my journey of truly discovering who I am and who I want to become. Compassion and kindness are the two main characteristics I want to be known by. I hope I will find my position in society and I hope to help others in need and to ease their pain and suffering. If someone is in need, I do not only want to lend them my hand, but instead I will make a promise of going beyond and I will offer them my full arm for support.

Life is a journey in which we gradually build and secure our future over time as it is a long process which involves patience, trust, effort and most importantly time. I will continue to engage in deep reflections about my inner true self and how to fulfill my needs regarding my Adam II.