The fine-tuned strings were checked. The vibrant noise rang through the tense air. The sound of my throat being cleared bounced off the mic. I could feel the sharp gaze of a camera judging me while I saw my reflection of myself through its lens. With that, I pressed the red recording button, began to strum, and sang.
Over the years, music has surrounded me like a safety blanket, a place where I felt more secure. I’ve always had the dream of becoming a singer. Later, this branched out to be an overall musician and dancer. Ever since I was young, I have played many instruments, with most of them being self-taught. However, despite my ambitions, I knew it took more confidence than I thought, and I was already terrified of the world that had the power to judge me. It was the anxiousness of seeing what other people thought, that caused me to hold myself back from showcasing my talent.
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Before I started doing covers, I started live streaming on a website called YouNow. Computer in front of me, sitting cross-legged, I gave a shy smile to the camera. Hand slightly trembling, I wave towards the screen as viewers entered the stream. “Hey guys, it’s Ada here”. The process was very easy, where you could sit down and just talk to other people as they watch you stream. From then on, my confidence slowly grew. I wanted my hopes and dreams to become a reality. It was the idea of being able to make others feel or think by themselves. What drove me, even more, was the want to connect to others with one voice. With that in mind, I started a YouTube channel, live-streamed more, and did small covers on Instagram. After some months of recording, my YouTube channel had several singing covers. I remember looking back on the first couple of comments I received. “Killing it!”, “I can’t stop watching”, “You should do another one”, “You should sing more and go to America’s Got Talent, I’ll come there”. My eyes glazed over the sweet comments, emotions filled me, and my heart burst with joy and thrill. A feeling so indescribable and like no other, I knew I wanted to continue.
As of now, I steadily find new songs to cover. Putting myself out there influenced me and my decision of wanting to pursue a college education in music or doing music in my life as a norm. I’ve learned to grow stronger and braver and that playing it safe won’t help me. I began to believe that maybe nothing is impossible if we take small steps toward our hopes and dreams for them to become a reality. This impacted me because it changed my mindset about how I should take people’s thoughts about me positively. It feels like living a double life, a quiet yet smiley girl at school, and a confident and voiceful girl online.
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