My Life My Faith: Narrative Essay

Introduction

Since beginning my theological studies this year, I have become more aware of my developing theological method. Thorsen believes that all Christians are constantly reflecting on their beliefs in a methodological way, whether they realize it or not. Up until recently, I would have placed myself in the latter category - often reflecting on my beliefs methodologically without realizing it. The purpose of this essay is to reflect on my current theological method, and its development since beginning academic theological study. In order to do this, I will be evaluating my theological method using four elements for reflection; Scripture, reason, tradition, and experience. For each of these elements, I will discuss how my understanding is developing, engaging with academic sources and my own personal reflection.

Scripture

I am first going to consider the study of Scripture. For me, reading the Scriptures daily is a key area of discipline not only in my academic studies but in my personal devotion. I see the Scriptures as Thorsen describes them - a source of God’s revelation to his people. Therefore, when one is reading the Scriptures, one is engaging with God. One cannot, however, approach reading the Scriptures in the same way as any other text. A vital part of understanding the Scriptures is for them to be brought to life by the Holy Spirit – for God to use the Scriptures to reveal part of Himself to you in a specific moment in a specific situation.

As I have begun to engage with a theological dissection of the Scriptures, I realize that there has to be some critical analysis and awareness, particularly of the time and contexts different passages were written. Yet this must be held in tension with submitting to the authority of Scripture, and the Holy Spirit as one reads it. The Holy Spirit both inspired the one who wrote it originally and inspires and guides me as the reader in the twenty-first-century context. We as humans may be historically and socially limited, but the Holy Spirit certainly is not.

If I am to submit to the authority of Scripture in my own life, I cannot just read it, I must interpret it in order to apply it. Webster reasons that only through interpretation can the Scripture have any impact on our actions. He also goes on to say that the authority of Scripture in one’s life is based on the interaction between God’s revelation to his readers. It is about opening oneself up to the author. As I read the Scripture, I do not do it merely to find out more about God, but for it to impact the way I live my life as a follower of Him.

The joy of reading the Scriptures is knowing that I have not reached the end of my understanding of it. Each time I approach it, something new will be revealed through the Holy Spirit which I have not considered before. The Scripture contains mystery, with hidden gems still to be discovered. Studying the Scriptures, therefore, is a vital part of my theological method.

Reason

Moreland states ‘faith is built on reason’ and that in order to commit to Christianity we need to have good reasons. This partly comes from engaging with Scripture and asking questions. There has to be a continual reflection on both the Scripture and our own personal experiences with Christ and engaging with the voice of God.

I was raised in a Christian home and my faith developed from an early age. However, as I have begun to study theology, I realize that my ability to ask questions and reason has not developed in the same way my reading of the Scriptures has. I must have questioned a lot as I was growing up for my faith to develop and to be inspired to commit to Christianity. However, regularly in our lecturing sessions, I am required to explain my thinking and often as I begin to try to do that, that thinking has unraveled. Having believed a certain thing to be true for as long as I can remember, in some cases, I have forgotten the reason. To be honest, this means that it is likely that I am not reflecting or reasoning enough as I continue to grow in faith.

Questions are natural when you experience a crisis, as you try to reason and relate faith to what is happening. Even a few years ago, the sudden death of my father did not cause me to question God in the way one might expect. I did not go through a crisis of faith particularly, being confident and assured that God is a God of comfort who works all things together for the good of those who love Him. I could suggest that I feared asking questions, worried that the very foundations of my faith may be revealed to be unstable. Yet Robinson believes that God’s gift to us is the ability to reason and that we should not be afraid of asking questions pointing out that even Jesus himself used reason and logic. Unless I ask questions, I am unlikely to be able to reason. But if I engage in the process of reasoning alongside both experiences and reading the Scriptures, then the product of this should be a stronger faith.

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Tradition

While I engage regularly with reading the Scriptures and recognize the need for me to reflect and reason, using tradition as part of my theological method challenges me. I have often been skeptical of tradition, seeing it as a form of legalism. The trap one can fall into is that engaging rigidly with a tradition can become a habit without commitment. The focus and urgency can become upholding the tradition and then we are in danger of losing why we even entered into the tradition in the first place. We can become bound to it, which contradicts God’s gift of freedom to us through the Holy Spirit.

Holmes believes that we can only engage fully with theology alongside tradition – it has to come alongside an awareness of where it came from. If I remain reluctant to engage with tradition, then I am likely to miss out on the richness of my Christian heritage. We are shaped as believers by what has gone before us.

There are several key traditions within the faith that are important to uphold. For example, Christ commanded us to partake in the Lord’s supper in remembrance of him. Taking part in communion is a tradition. Garcia notes that traditions carry many different aims, and I believe that taking part in communion is identity-forming and unifying. If I were to stop taking communion, I would be disengaging with the community of the body of Christ, and the act of reminding myself of the new covenant and the expected return of Christ.

Although I may not consider myself a traditionalist, I am becoming more aware of the importance of tradition. Indeed, to disengage with some key traditions in the church may be harmful. I am also learning to recognize that engaging with traditions is about being part of the wider Christian community. Taking part in a tradition is not just about me and my actions but is also part of the actions of a group, those in the past and in the present. As long as I engage with traditions with the right level of commitment, not entering into them lightly or thoughtlessly, then tradition will form a vital part of developing my theological method. For every tradition that forms part of my worship, I need to be exploring where it came from and asking why. This is not necessarily to be skeptical, but so that I am able to engage with it and benefit from it.

Experience

I am finally going to reflect on the element of experience within my theological method. Without experience, any cognitive learning is unlikely to make an impact. Personal experiences are difficult to assess as they are most meaningful to the one who experiences them. However, in my experience, the sharing of personal testimony encourages the body of Christ and raises the expectation of God acting in our own personal circumstances. Testimony ought to be in line with Scripture, tradition, and reason if it is to carry any authority.

Astley refers to the theology of everyday life as being essential, arising from a relationship with God in worship and prayer. I find that in these experiences I am most encouraged, and renewed. Experiences are usually memorable, which means they become a reference point in our faith. Robinson believes that there is a danger when experience becomes the sole authority for one’s beliefs. If we are to only rely on experience to define our understanding of God, our growth in faith will become stunted. Experiences alone will not sustain us for long.

My own experiences with God have tended to sustain me through difficult times, when I haven’t been able to find a quick answer to a question, or the Scriptures do not seem to make sense. In this season of exploring theology in greater depth, my own personal and community devotional times will continue to be vital in upholding my faith at this time and growing it. Studying may support the deepening of my faith but it should not be at the expense of personal experience. However, I cannot live on experience alone.

Conclusion

The purpose of this essay was to reflect on my theological method. I have evaluated my method using four elements for reflection; Scripture, reason, tradition, and experience, and engaged with personal reflection and academic reading for each. My own theological method is not perfect. Although I read the Scriptures daily and recognize the need for the Holy Spirit to illuminate them, I realize that this not only has to be an ongoing process but that it cannot be done without reason. In this area, I possibly struggle the most, as I fear how questioning could lead to an unraveling of faith. However, as I have reflected on the importance of experience, I am beginning to believe that if I am bold enough to ask questions and wrestle with the answers, my experiences with God will sustain me during the uncertainty. Although I admit my skepticism towards tradition, I am starting to value its importance in sustaining me also. It speaks to me of the rich heritage of the faith in which I believe and the community of the body of Christ to which I belong. However, it must not become a ritual for the sake of it.

Foster states ‘In reflection, we come to understand not only our subject matter but ourselves’. This reflection has enabled me to consider where I was before beginning to engage in theological study, yet I hope that when I re-read this in years to come, my theological method will have continued to grow and develop.