The google definition of ‘Divorce’ is a severing of martial ties. Meaning it not only nullifies the marriage, but sets the terms of property division, child custody, child support, spousal support and other responsibilities. Also, agreements that you make in your divorce settlement are legally binding. This is the literal definition of divorce. However, there is much more to divorce then the defined content. Divorce is the failing of marriage due to broken promises, unequal attention, disagreements, lying, cheating, abuse or simply just the fact that there is no more interest and love within the married couple. This research paper will provide an understanding of the basic reasons why divorce occurs in a marriage, the effect that it causes, how a person copes with divorce and the result of acting upon divorce. There will also be information pertaining to how a couple may solve their problems so that divorce is not actually considered.
What is Divorce / Why people file for Divorce:
Divorce is not something good nor something people look forward into doing, so by saying that there are mainly negative reasons why divorce is acted upon. Rarely is there a good reason for divorce, if so than it is mainly because of the circumstance that couples are in that stimulates a good reasons for divorce. As I mentioned earlier in the abstract section, divorce is an act of which a couple agrees to be separated, severing of martial ties. They separate their ties from each other and equally divide their belonging amongst each other. Divorce is a big situation that not only affects the couple that are going through the divorce but also it can affect family members and so forth. From researching about divorce, it has been said by the Vangorodska Law Firm that the three main reasons why people file for divorce is because of extramarital affairs, money and nagging family (New York’s Premier Family Law Firm, 2012). Extramarital affairs consists of when one of the members in the marriage has an affair with someone else either than their husband or wife. Money being one of the reasons is pretty self explanatory because financial issues occur in which some couples let their financial issues affect them greatly which lead them to filing divorce instead of having a positive mind of which they can work together to figure out their problems as well find help if needed. The nagging family portrays the idea of which your family tends to put their nose into your business and that generates anger between the married couple and eventually drives them to divorce.
The affect that ‘Divorce’ generates:
Some think that divorce only effects the married couple but that is obviously not an equivalent point of view, for it is not only the married adults that are greatly affected during the process of divorce but others as well, such as children ( whether they are the couple’s children or their nieces and nephews), parents of both side are greatly affected and so as extended family member and siblings. Divorce causes relationship problems between the divorced couple and their kids in which the children can become distant with their parents due to the not liking of their decision to be separated. Some children also would never want to have to do anything with the parent that they hate and would also not want to see them again. It is a sad to ever witness a child saying “I never want to see my dad/mom ever again” but we can’t blame them because they are put in the middle of the problem which brings much confusion and inequality and they have no say in it at all. Wikipedia has given effects of divorce in which couples will often experience a decrease level of happiness, change in their economic status and emotional problems. Effect on children will be bad academic results, behavioral and psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, paranoia and so much more (Wikipedia, 2019).
Coping with divorce!
In the beginning of a divorced marriage, many have a hard time accepting the fact that they actually are divorced and are free to do anything on their own time and make their own choices. However, what seems to be the biggest problem form moving on is trying to stop yourself from acting out your habits, meaning trying to stop yourself from doing your regular routines of which you always did when you were married. For example, waking up early to make coffee for your spouse, preparing lunch for spouse to take to work, turning on the a/c an hour before your husband gets home so that the house is nice and cold when he gets home and so many other habits that you have developed during your married life. However there is nothing to fear, you eventually will get over the fact that you’re living a divorced life and will move on. Coping with divorce is a process, it is not an automatic switch that can suddenly make you get over it right away and become a total different person. It takes time, patience and acceptance. Mental Health America has given suggestions of ways divorced adults can cope with being divorced. They said that you should first ‘recognize that it’s ok to have different feeling’ meaning it’s normal to feel sad, angry, confused and frustrated. You must also ‘give yourself a break’ allow yourself to feel such feeling of anger, exhausted and had as you are going through a hard time and so don’t beat yourself up or lower self-esteem. ‘Divorce should never be experienced alone’ because sharing your feelings with others especially your family member and those who understand your situation will help you get through the process more calmly. Lastly, ‘take time to explore your interests’ this means that because you have lost moments, memories, opportunities that doesn’t mean that it’s going to end there, you may have lost some things but you have also become available to other things in store and can also become greater things you just have to positive and get yourself out there to explore and experience what is good and beneficial (Mental Health America, 2019).
Opinions in which married adults can refrain from filing divorce
Believe or not there are ways in which married adults can refrain from filing divorce, a site called very well mind offers opinions in which refrains married couple from filing divorce. The first opinion given was to ‘banish divorce frrm your thoughts’ this refers to when couple think that they are at the edge with their marriage they must try to have a calm piece of mind and not have all that negativity lead to divorce. ‘Honoring and respecting your partner’ will grant a chance of working things and becoming better in dealing with issues that the two are facing. ‘Communication’ is a big role in a marriage and so to refrain all abilities of divorce learn to communicate well with each other. Financial expectations good or bad are necessary to discuss in a marriage for it will stop problems from leading to divorce due to financial issues that cannot be settled because of not knowing what each other expects financially. Giving each other space and time is very important for they also need to form opinions and thought that can be considered as well suggested so both can be equal with their input in the marriage. Never stop showing love and affection, just because you two are going to be with each other for the rest of your lives doesn’t mean that you have to stop buying each other gifts, spoiling each other and always showing each other support and all. There are so many more opinions in which you can refrain from filing divorce. However, these are just a few of my favourites.
Results of Divorce
To sum up of what filing for divorce leads to, it separates adults and families, can cause emotional and physical problems to the adults, generates a change of positive thinking, form new opportunities for one and also bring safety and. Divorce has its ups and downs and that is all depending on the situation that couples are in which led to them filing for divorce. From my research I have noticed that some have filed for divorce for their own piece of mind, meaning some couples feel that the only way they can live life to fullest is making decisions on their own without always needing the input of their somewhat better half. Some act upon divorce for their safety and future opportunities because there are those who get involved in abusive relationships and have hard time trying to make change for the better and so filing for divorce will form a feeling of safety, peace and calamity making it known that the choices they make won’t lead to black eye because of one disagreeing with the other’s choices and that they can act freely upon their choices knowing that it will benefit his/her future. Divorce should never be a suggestion because everyone deserves a happy ending to live with the one they truly love and deserve.