Beep… down the sterile lonesome hallway.
Beep… a lapse of space and time. Beep… the final, last breath. Beeeeeeep. Now, laid down in my cozy, messy, bed. Enclosed by still moments of time, bringing back those ecstatic memories, like diving into a tranquil, serene bubbly hot tub, then back to realization. Alone. Defeated. Lost. But little did I know that tingle in your belly, that happy state of mind was never gone. Perhaps in retrospect, my grandfather, who I have been inspired by, improved by, and learned by was just like a decaying picture of the past.
I remember back then, the good old days when my grandfather would take me on enjoyable walks around the park. He would always tell me about all sorts of amazing things, we would always laugh and have fun. But then again, the good times never lasted long. It all first started one day, the words 'Your grandfather, he's in the hospital' The words that are still ringing in the back of my head to this day. Now remembering the words hit me like a bullet to the heart. Then, that's when my father then said that we were going to the hospital to visit him.
Little did I know, that this visit would be my last.
Defeated. Diseases. Death. The Hospital. The last place where anyone would want to be. The last place where I wanted to be. The aseptic smell. The worry on everyone’s faces mirrored mines. I hastily rushed through the hallways to the room where my grandfather was in. Burst opened the door to see how my grandfather was doing. A moment of relief flushed away from my body as I saw him blissfully sitting there talking to my family.
“You all, shall carry on the family name and make me proud. Just in case I don’t make it out alive” as he chuckles this as a joke. Or so that’s what I had thought. But buried deep inside me, I had a feeling that he was even a bit wary of himself. The sentimental words he spoke that day moved me. As this was an archaic tradition carried and passed on from every generation to the next. And as I leave the hospital room which is as devoid of beauty as I am of hope. Hope for the future. Slowly rotting away like an apple in the open.
On reflection, this was a priceless moment in my life I will never forget. Back then, in hindsight without my grandfather by my side, I would still be the arrogant, inconsiderate, and self-centered kid, I was back then. But thanks to my grandfather’s wise words, I’ve come to an understanding of how not to judge others furthermore first think about what the person went through, and their background, just like not judging a book by its cover but more by its inside, to respect and help others, to think outside of the box, the list is infinite. That’s why his sagacious words will still live on through me, also I will try my best to become the person he would have wanted me to be and help others in any way I can.
Then on a rainy cat and dog, kind of day, my parents near the end of our dinner said 'I have bad news kids, your grandfather, I’m so sorry, but he’s no longer with us'. It took a while for me and my brothers to process this information and realize what they meant, streams of tears flowed through my little brother who was only 9 at the time, and my older brother more upset but concealing his emotions like how a turtle hides his eggs on a beach. And me, who didn't know how to react but dashed up the stairs to my room with a bitter taste. Now I lie, wasting away like a forgotten picture. Fill with unspeakable emotions. More confused about what I should feel. Sadness? Happyness? Heartbroken? Then, all of a sudden, an avalanche of tears came bombarding my cheeks. At the same time, the waves of flashbacks, of precious memories hit me. Each memory hit me harder and deeper, up to the point where the impact was too unbearable. Falling into a pool of despair, being submerged. Lost forever. A hand. Back to civilization. Now I rise.
Thinking back now the words ringing in my head, calling back. Pulling me back to the surface, the light in the dark, the water for the fire. This experience made me think about what had changed throughout my time, my perception of life, the mistakes I've done in the past, and what I could have done better. I am grateful that I had a grandfather who was as thoughtful, open-minded, and as caring as he was. Lucky me I guess. Thinking back now, without my grandfather, the kind-hearted person he was. I would have never become the person I am today. I’ve come to a realization, that he will always still be with us spiritually, and that he is now in a happier place now. That will he will always be watching over us from above.
I choose to write about the death of my grandfather because he has been someone close to me who I have loved since a small age. During my time with my grandfather, I learned new things and accomplished extraordinary things, I would have never thought I could, my grandfather changed me to be the better person who I am today. I’d even learned about the past and how fortunate we are to be born in a time of such remarkable culture and phenomenal technology for many things, that include health care, and many amazing new facts. That’s why I will cherish the good quality essential time we shared with my family and friends within me.
I've done all this during my time with my grandfather. Nowadays I am really glad that I was so fortunate to have such an incredible person in my life because, without him, I would have never become the person I am today. I learned not to dwell on the past and from then on forwards, I will strive to become a better person.