Meeting Experience Essay

Recovery Meeting Paper

This weekend did not go as planned, to say the least. All along, I had prepared myself to attend an Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting. I felt as if I could relate the most to this type of meeting, considering I have a close family member that suffers from alcoholism. Little did I know that these meetings were harder to come by than other recovery meetings. Needless to say, I missed the one and only ACA meeting that was going on this weekend.

Description of the Group

As I searched online for an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting instead, I came across one near my house. It read, “Saturday at 1 pm Open Discussion Meeting at How Hall in Huntington Beach.” It was much easier said than done. As I drove to the location, I felt myself growing more and more nervous. Why was I so nervous? Why did I suddenly want to turn around and drive back home? It was a strange feeling since I had never attended any recovery meetings before. These feelings became more profound and elevated as I got out of the car. I had all these emotions come up so unexpectedly; I was apprehensive, uneasy, hesitant, and filled with anxiety.

As I pulled up, I remember the website saying that Suite G was behind Honey Baked Ham. I arrived at 12:55 pm and had no idea as to where it was. I then saw a small group of people congregated in front of a building so I hoped that was it. I walked towards the group, and read the writing on the outside of the building that said, “How Hall”. I walked into a room that had several chairs facing the front and a little table off in the corner with coffee and snacks. Before walking into the meeting, for some reason, I had pictured the room to be filled with disheveled middle-aged men. That, however, was not the case. I’m not sure why, but I had a preconceived look for the members of AA in my mind before walking in. I casually and subtly looked around the room and saw people of all ages, sexes, and races. I sat near a young blonde girl that appeared to be nineteen or twenty and a long dark-haired woman appearing to be in her late thirties. I saw people from all walks of life in this room—older white-collar men, a young boy, a couple, a biker, and an elderly woman. This is not at all what I had expected when I walked into the room. The atmosphere was pleasant in the room; it was almost like a family. It felt nice, but also uncomfortable at the same time because I felt like such an outsider. Everyone seemed to know each other so well and acted like a little family.

Personal Reactions

Attending a recovery meeting for the first time certainly made me feel a whirlwind of emotions that I never thought I’d have to experience. I felt a rollercoaster of emotions throughout the one-hour meeting. I felt my anxiety go through the roof, especially at the beginning of the meeting. I noticed that I may have looked like I was closed off to the meeting; I sat in the very back with my arms and legs crossed, looking down a lot of the time. I slowly felt my body become more relaxed as the meeting went on though. I also felt rude. I felt as if I was watching or observing everyone throughout the entirety of the meeting like a study; I most definitely didn’t feel as if I belonged. I also felt happiness and sadness for the people there. I was happy to see how a group of strangers could open up to one another to offer so much love and support. It was nice to see how attentive everyone was when an individual was sharing their story. I also felt sadness when listening to some of their stories. There was a young twenty-two-year-old man that had come to California from Minnesota to escape the drugs and alcohol that had consumed his hometown. There was a mother in her twenties that was fighting to stay sober to regain custody of her four children. There was a man that worked in the meat department of a grocery store that was struggling to stop drinking and doing meth. Reading these things in Tweak, and then actually hearing these stories in person was mind-blowing. I couldn’t help but feel sadness and anguish for them.

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My overall impression of the meeting was positive. There was a family-like aspect of the group that I thoroughly enjoyed watching. Everyone thanked one another for sharing such difficult stories and clapped each time. I felt welcomed and not all at the same time, by no fault of their own. Several people said, “Welcome to our newcomers” or “Thank you to the visitors that came out today”. I personally just felt odd because everyone seemed to know each other so well, making me feel a little left out. I learned that I shouldn’t come into a situation with preconceived judgments of others. I found myself judging the members of AA before even attending the meeting. I had pictured and judged them all in my head before arriving, but not so much when I actually sat through the meeting. They were all people, like you and me just with different struggles. The stereotypes I had for AA members were unquestionably broken, due to the fact that everyone was so dissimilar from one another. If I were a person seeking recovery, I would undoubtedly return to AA. The family-styled environment was enough to make me return if I needed to. If I had a friend or family member that was looking to recover, I would highly recommend an AA meeting for them, and go with them if they desired.

Implications for Your Professional Practice

My thoughts and opinions about recovery meetings drastically changed after attending one. I had a preconceived notion that it was going to be a very cult-like setting. I had pictured a room full of people that clearly looked like addicts. I pictured people looking unkempt and disheveled. Upon entering the room, I realized that my mind had deceived me. I was just in a room full of people that just wanted to continue on the road of recovery. I loved every aspect of the meeting—the sharing, the clapping, the commending, and the chips people received for staying sober. Witnessing the positivity and support of an AA meeting is enough for me to recommend it to a client if he/she was ready to make a positive change to begin the road to recovery. I believe that anyone that is ready to recover from substance use would benefit from attending a 12-step meeting. There is no face or gender to this disease; just an open space for those willing to make the change.

To prepare a client for a group meeting, I would be honest and open about my own experience. I would answer any and all questions that he/she had bluntly. I would assure him/her that attending a meeting isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign of power to overcome a problem. People that are not ready to fully commit to the program by staying or trying to stay sober wouldn’t do well in this program. If you haven’t yet recognized that you have a problem and are not willing to make the change yet, then participating in a group would prove to be a hard time. The main benefit of this 12-step approach is that everyone in the group has the goal of remaining on the same path of reconstructing their lifestyle and rehabilitating themselves. Changing a recovering person’s social circle is a huge benefit and contributor to remaining sober and motivated through the process. Having the ability to cope, socialize, and express themselves with alike people helps build their confidence in their ability to remain abstinent. A limitation of AA would be the religious aspect of it. I noticed a lot of talk about God, and even opening and closing the meeting with a prayer. Those who identify as agnostic, atheist, or even another religious affiliation may struggle to adapt to this atmosphere. My perception of the religious component was both positive and negative. I can appreciate the fact that religion may give some people a purpose to give life a better meaning, but I can also see why non-religious people would be turned off by that component of the meeting.

Integration of Class Readings

Chapter 12 of Capuzi and Stauffer’s Foundations of Addictions Counseling correlated well with today’s Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Upon walking into the meeting, I noticed two large posters of the twelve steps that I had already read about in the textbook. I was glad that I had taken a look at the textbook prior to attending the meeting; although I still felt nervous, it helped me understand AA a little more. The readings for this class helped me have a bit of insight as to what the group process would look like.

I learned about the Big Book, and how it has two parts to it. The first part is the “original manuscript' which explains the 12-step program and how it can be used to overcome the effects of alcoholism. The second part is filled with stories written by some of the original members of AA; they relate their personal experiences with alcoholism and how they found a path to recovery. Learning about this prior to the meeting helped me better understand what this “Big Book” was that everyone kept referencing. The information from the textbook helped me tie in things that I learned from the meeting today, like the eight characteristics that contribute to a group’s success. I enjoyed educating myself about what works and what doesn’t. One of the eight characteristics that the textbook talks about is for the group to “place emphasis on accepting responsibility for one’s behavior.” I saw plenty of this today. I heard members continually say things like “I know I shouldn’t have done that” or “I blame myself”. It’s easy to not take responsibility for your actions and to simply blame others, so hearing people being fully accountable and not making excuses was very admirable. If given the opportunity again (for education purposes or in support of a friend/family), I would love to attend another recovery meeting. I learned quite a bit from my experience attending a 12-step meeting. I now have a better understanding of this highly effective modality and the utmost respect for these members that are just trying to provide emotional and practical support for one another.